A Special Report

The previously scheduled episode will air at a later time so we may bring you this special presentation…in living color.

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OK I’ll explain my absence in a couple of paragraphs but first I got sumtin’ to bitch about.

I can’t find my beer.

OK, OK – so I drink what one beer-snob called “pussy beer” but I happen to like Miller Genuine Draft.

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I don’t like bitter, I don’t like my beer to taste like I’m gnawing on a hunk of radicchio. I don’t care how cool that Dos Equis guy is, or that it doesn’t have a bitchin’ microbrew name like Stunned Rhino, or how neat Guinness looks poured properly. I like MGD.

 

 

 

Here in the land of Sam Adams (patriot and beer) there’s coolers full of beers that will burn your nose hair off, but a product from the #2 brewer in the world…uuuh, nope we ain’t got any. Yesterday I made the rounds of 5 local liquor stores (quick aside – what ever happened to fat Irish guys running liquor stores?). Anyway, I was finally directed to the super-sized liquor store where you go to buy really fancy wine…and apparently Miller Draft. By the way, MGD received the gold medal in the American-style Premium Lager category at the 1999 World Beer Cup – before most of you beer snobs were out of Middle School.

My attempt at cultural assimilation has taken a big hit.

 

Now…about my unexplained absence.

Hudson statue

Yes sports fans, that is the one and only grandboy Hudson at Disneyland. Since I have a yearly pass and the blackout dates had ended for the summer season we (first daughter Brittney and I) took the leap of faith and strolled into Disneyland with a 14 month old. Those of you who know me are aware of my Disneyland fixation, for those that don’t – no, I’m not gay.

I am happy to report all went exceedingly well.

Grabbed Frame 2 We set off for the Dumbo ride which, as all true Disneyland vets know, has the slowest line in the park. It may not be the longest, but with the load the ride – ride the flying elephants – unload the ride – load the ride, it seems like forever to actually be sitting between Dumbo’s fiberglass ears. That is also complicated by the line occupants that consist of wide eyed youngsters who’ve worn out their DVD of the movie, their tween sisters who only want to meet and greet an Orange County college girl dressed up like Cinderella and their already maxed out parents trying to decipher the park map.

Having conquered his first big kid ride we shuffled him off to a whirlwind tour of all the rides we could get him on. Pirates, Peter Pan, The Jungle Cruise, Monorail, the Tower of Terror…kidding, all topped off by him taking three steps to Mommy (sounds like a good title for a song). So I spent the next few weeks putting together a video of our adventure.

 

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I also must admit to getting stuck for about 6 days on a website about horrible tattoos seen at WalMart . This is the only one I can share.

 

 

 

We now return to our regular programming.

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