Because the Olympics take a fortnight +4 to complete (approximately the time every Tom Arnold TV show lasts). I have a tendency to get a bit restless with all this snow stuff. Blame it on the fact that I’m looking at more of snow in my backyard than the downhill loonies have to ski on at 200 miles per hour…wait a minute…that was NASCAR. Ever notice that the ski suits are painted just like race cars? Without the STP stickers.
Back to my Olympic ennui.
en·nui änˈwē/ noun
1. a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.
Because none of you faithful readers have the time to wander around the internet I thought I’d share some interesting non-sport Olympic highlights with you.
You all remember US bobsledder Johnny Quinn who, as we reported last week, took the linebacker way out of a bathroom. Some silly misunderstanding about doorknob or something. Anyway, his locked in Karma came rushing back yesterday as he found himself in a uncooperative elevator. Naturally, now he’s a social media star.
There is a oft heard phrase heard by international travelers most of us are unaware of.
“Oh you want a Western bathroom.”
Because my lovely wife is pounding the international beat she has been able to educate me on this phenomena. Seems the majority of the rest of the world doesn’t exactly deal with old Number One and Number Two like us. Here’s some of the interesting scenes from Russia.
Subtlety doesn’t seem to be high on the list
I know this is the Olympics, but really…JUDGING?
There are definite dos and don’ts
I hope this is instructions for the ladies room, authorizing only sitting down.
I understand frowning upon bathroom gymnastics, riding the porcelain bus and shooting up…but FISHING?
If this is a problem in Russia they need to be looking at their plumbing infrastructure, not spending $50 billion on the Olympics.
From the Best Alternate Use of Athletic Equipment Department we have Alexey Sobolev, a Russian snowboarder. He put his phone number on his helmet before his qualifying run on Thursday. The onslaught of incoming messages — many of them photos of naked women — was so intense it crashed his iPhone. Good job Comrade!
In other snowboarding news –
Evidently snowboard slang doesn’t translate well. “Stoked” translates to “drunk” in Russian…well, maybe that does work…
Not being a participant in most…well, all winter sports it’s not easy to drum up a huge amount of excitement for a sport every 4 years. However, I was riveted by the side by side snowboard racing. I immediately thought of a side by side bobsled track. Or better yet, one wide enough to allow two racers!
The wonderful folks at Cracked.com put way more thought into this so here are the highlights from their story on how to make both the Summer and Winter Olympics more interesting.
I think it’s about time to take a breather from all this excitement. Remember…only six shopping days until the Closing Ceremonies!