Duck Season

images  Today is the start of Duck Season. Duck Hunting Season. It is also the start of Pine Shedding Season – which we covered last year. New readers Click Here.

I know it’s Duck Season because at 3 pm today, while working in the garage, I heard 3 loud blasts. At first I thought it was a local garage band warming up. Then I remembered the era of kids learning to play in their garage is long past. Maybe it was a bunch of boys tuning up an old car…nope, that don’t happen anymore. Some kids playing army with their Mattel Air Blaster Guns? Highly unlikely.

A second barrage confirmed it…shotguns on the Whachagonnacallit River. Duck Season.

I can’t help but feeling sorry for the ducks . This may be the start of hunting season for sportsmen but it is also the beginning of Florida Vacation Season for ducks.

Here they are, getting all ready for that yearly trip to Orlando. The little ones are all excited about seeing their friends at the moat in Walt Disney World. They’ve filled up on fish, frogs, bugs and berries from the Massachusetts forests. They got their travel insurance from AFLAC…
Now they have to negotiate a shotgun gauntlet to be able to spend the winter in sunny climes.   

In researching this, I read the rules for duck hunting…kinda interesting to us non-hunters.

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PROHIBITED DEVICES – No one shall hunt migratory birds using a sink box, trap, snare, net, rifle, pistol, air gun, swivel gun, punt gun, battery gun, machine gun, fish hook, poison, drug, explosive or stupefying substance .
I understand the trap-hook-poison-drug exclusions but is it necessary to mention machine guns and explosives? What the hell was going on before they enforced these licenses? Pilgrims throwing sticks of TNT at Mallards? Our founding fathers blasting out of a maple tree with a Gatling gun? Doesn’t it kind of eliminate the duck as food if you blow it away with a weapon of mass destruction?
 
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While on the subject of heavy weapons is there really a need to tell Hunter Harold to leave the howitzer at home? Yes folks, that is a battery gun.
 
And then there is the mention of stupefying substances – so it’s illegal to spill a beer into the water?
  

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LIVE DECOYS – No person shall hunt migratory game birds
with the aid of live decoys 
Seeing as it’s almost Halloween this could be up for interpretation 

ELECTRIC CALLS – No person shall take migratory game
birds using pre-recorded calls or sounds or any electronic
imitations of calls.
So using a slowed down recordings of Justin Bieber is illegal.

NON-TOXIC SHOT – Is required for all waterfowl hunting.
OK – now I’m confused. The idea of hunting is to make it “toxic” for the hunted. Who wants to bring home a bag of ducks to the family only to have them fly out of your game bag and roost on your dining room chandelier?

An interesting side note – if you are a falconer – that is, you hunt with a falcon, you can’t hunt on Sunday.
Those falcons have one hellofa union…

Next week is the official start of Duck Lip Season…

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