In our last adventure I was stranded like the players in “Naked And Afraid”. Except I’m not in the wilderness…and I still have access to indoor plumbing and the local market…oh, and I’m not naked
(Big sigh of relief from everybody)
We all remember this guy, don’t we?
The really scary guy with 4% body fat and the secret to amazing washboard abs!!!
Well, interesting thing – while looking at this gloating photo on his website, letting me know that I’d have to cough up $14.95 a month to look like him (or rather, finish the six week exercise course) I noticed something.
Amidst the tendrils of body art (which may contain the answer to the riddle of the Sphinx, the recipe for Paula Dean’s Coconut Cake or the new invasion plans for Iraqi) I noticed a familiar “www”. See…right there along his massive Latimus Dorsi…see it? Right where young Hollywood chickie-babes usually put some inane saying they read off a poster.
Well, it seems that somebody needed a place to stash his secret workouts…and needed a place to remind himself where the hell they were.
I felt like Elaine from Seinfeld in the Soup Nazi episode (Refresh your memory here). Here in his un-password-protected site was the goldmine I sought…the six week self torture plan. Then I noticed something. Another link to another site. Hosted by another frightenly muscled individual. With the same “hardcore, get-lean training program”, Hmmmm.
Sooooo, this ain’t so top secret after all. In fact it seems to be as recycled as the covers of Muscle & Fitness Magazine “ARNOLD’S 12 STEP ROUTENE TO BLAST YOUR BICEPS!” (guaranteed to be reprinted at least 4 times a year). I found 6 versions of this workout floating around Google in about 10 minutes.
$14.95 my ass…
So fearless fitness watchers we are back on track for another full 4½ weeks of presses, pulls, curls and squats. Thank God I get to eat steak.
In our next adventure…