A Valley Boy’s Guide To Snow Removal

There’s been a bit of snow in Boston

Maybe you heard about it. It was on the news.

So far we have had over 77 inches of snow. The math department at MIT figured that equals 8.47 billion cubic feet…approximately the same amount of fat that’s been lost on all 16 seasons of The Biggest Loser.

snowtotalgrfx-8641 Looking at it another way – if you piled it all up in one place it would be 8,257 feet high. That’s almost as tall as Kayne West’s ego.

The weird thing about it is I kinda like clearing snow…

(pause for dramatic effect)

I’m not saying I like the weather that goes along with it, but there’s some pretty fun toys to play with.

You all remember my snow destroyer from the New Jersey years.

IMG_8903

Then there is the ever popular snow thrower…fun to use during a Birthday Party!

IMG_9481

There is also that feeling of accomplishment when this…

snowBD 12

Finally looks like this

snowBD 11

That feeling of accomplishment also come along with a desperate desire for a hot tub.

I grew up with a different way of dealing with snow. In LA we put the snow up on the top of the mountains. That way you could drive up to the snow and ski, sled, tube , board, run wildly naked through the woods…
So anyway…you could do whatever snow recreational outlet you had a hankering for and then return home in time to catch some rays in the backyard while grilling a steak on the Weber. It was a pretty good system.

But here we are in New England…so let’s talk about getting killed by falling icicles.

Our house has grown an alarming amount of giant ice spears while we were inside watching “Intervention” on the Lifetime Channel. For some weird reason these killer ice knives seem to form right above doorways. They also prefer attaching only on the second floor to allow for maximum velocity when they drop.
If one listens to the watercooler stories around work (and Amy does) you’d think people are staggering into Emergency Rooms with ice shrapnel wounds every couple of minutes. The reality is that about 15 people die each year from falling ice in the US. Note, that’s falling ice. Not necessarily icicles.
Your chances of an ice rapier death are about par with having Ed McMahon knock on your door and give you a million dollars. (Seeing as Ed died 7 years ago, that gives you an idea of your chances).

But let’s not talk about morbid stuff like that…because…

 

BECAUSE WE’RE GOING TO HAWAII!!!!

 

Yes, at 4 am tomorrow we start our little escape from Beantown…actually South Beantown …to finish out the remainder of Fred’s Birthday Season in grand style. I will be reporting from the front as we attempt to overdose on sunshine, surf and Mai Tais.
Stay tuned for…

ha

See ya tomorrow!

A – LOOOOOO – HA!

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